Music, Short Stories

The Story I Started with “Iris” Ends in Different Worlds, Now on Wattpad!


Click here to read the full story!

Mundo, guardian angel of the Philippine capital struggles to guide his own 8 children away from crime. Manila, a city where two worlds, the rich and the poor live alongside each other, is the backdrop as Mundo bears witness to the lives of Iñigo and Belle, a budding artist and a lost soul. Drugs, rock music, fast cars…this is a whole new world compared to Los Angeles. And even more are hiding behind their lips.

“People all over the arena floor started panicking, one by one as they bump into both of them. A police officer gets a hold of Belle, before Iñigo notices and pulls her as they run to his car. “A GTR?!” Belle panted, in disbelief. “Get in!” Outside the window, Belle peeks her head at all the ensuing chaos, unable to shield her laughter at the craziness of this particular night.”

“Next, a nearly-closed jewelry store sat on a lonely street. “Wait here…” Iñigo planned to surprise her until he noticed her shadow following him, “First impressions of you don’t last very long, do they?” They chuckle as the store owner closes up shop, signalling to each other when the lights turn off. Belle wasn’t able to contain her giggle, prompting Iñigo to give up trying to find the keys before they run for their lives.”

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Prose

Falling Into You

Guys! I just found an old writing I made when I was in high school. Lots of memories here. I just imagined how the typical average guy falls in love, what the composition of his psyche looks like. It’s funny that girls always fall for the wrong people when the good guys get no love or just receive less of it. So here it is! Enjoy:

I am the guy in the middle: not short, not tall, either; not stupid, but far from intelligent; not ugly, but no handsome guy; one who has lots to say but falters and forgets at the wrong moment; one who wants to do the noblest, most old-school and genuine of things, but always ends up not doing anything for some stupid reason like anxiety, insecurity, depression and shyness. Adults I’ve met such as Chit dela Torre describe me as mature, but for those of my age, I am as immature as that silent, unsociable high school freshman.

But there’s one aspect I won’t falter in. Once I find myself falling into you, I won’t be the bad boy type who will treat you like dirt, flirt with other girls, seek for a kiss and leave, or go beyond that line. I will accept your insecurities, aspirations and imperfections because for a person scarred like me, you are my counterpart that balances my sorrow with joy. A scarred person like me will listen to your darkest stories and your brightest ones, because I’ve been the happiest and the saddest person in the world before, just like you. I will be your shoulder to lean on, because in times I didn’t have anyone, I learned how being one for others actually makes you stronger.

I will be the one to laugh at your every joke because that’s how much you make me happy. I will make a fool of myself in front of others just to make you feel how I feel about you; because all the embarrassment is washed away when you put your arms around me and my heart stops beating for a second. I will be one to surprise you at the most normal of days because since I met you, every day has felt that much more special.

I won’t chase other girls because I have nothing worth mentioning to them but you. I am not one to be clingy, because I’m just your average Joe, and I understand how you will still look and squeal in joy and talk nonstop about Liam Payne, Zayne Malik and the rest of One Direction, or the hottest guy in school, even if I do everything I can to look good for you. I will still try though, because that nugget of admiration makes me jump deep inside every time. When the rain pours, when our lips touch, I better not melt away because falling into you is something I’ve always dreamt of.

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Social Issues

The Real X-Men

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I guess many of you read my Facebook post a few years ago. It said about my first bout with this type of illness. I deleted it a long time ago, just because I felt it wasn’t necessary for people to see it, in its content and the way it was written. But now I have a blog I write in sometimes as well as a clear mind, I just want to tell a part of my story in this almost eight-year battle.

I’m part of what I call the next big issue society will have to discuss and act on, the mentally ill. No, I’m not ashamed and I don’t think being open about this will harm me. There are far worse cases than what I am experiencing. More and more kids are being diagnosed with mental illnesses such as ADHD. Maybe it’s because of all the radiation, I don’t know, and that’s not what I came here for.

Just a while ago my dad told me people don’t get ashamed when they have disorders in their kidneys, or heart. The brain is just another part of the body, so why treat it differently? That’s one way of looking at it, but he’s the kind of person who’s both outspoken AND well-informed. In my opinion, the world isn’t prepared yet to tolerate us at the same level as the LGBT community. It’s their time right now, same as females. Push a bit more every day, and someday I imagine they won’t be bullied or looked at as inferior. But when you look at a news item, say a shooting spree at a school and the suspect has bipolar disorder, you’re pretty sure he did it.

Before I went to college, my parents were considering putting me in this place where I’ll get to live and study with peers who also have mental problems. The guy pitching the place to me described the students as like the X-Men: a minority, people whose potential the world doesn’t understand yet. I didn’t end up staying there, but I understand the connection. We’re not part of the mainstream, at least not while the seeds are still growing.

Right now I’m being treated mainly for Bipolar symptoms and anxiety issues, plus a host of other more minor disorders. I’ve had anxiety since Grade 6, and people didn’t know until that Facebook post I mentioned. What many people don’t know is anxiety can destroy lives, it can be that awful. And sometimes what you don’t see in a person’s face, words or actions is the worst part.

My sickness led me to do very bad things to my family. But I know in my heart the real me didn’t mean any of those things. I regret doing those things, because I saw and felt them, even if it was like another person controlling me. I move on every time my mind clears, and I write whatever happened so I can tell my psychiatrist and improve my condition.

When I walk in the mall by myself, I remember the agony of the early days of my anxiety issues. When the day starts I’ll have minor fever and palpitations. When I’m in school I’ll have cold sweat all day and go to the restroom to puke at least once. And when I arrive home I’ll crash at my bed so tired because I didn’t have a rhythm in my walking (every step required great effort). No one knew what I was going through because even I didn’t.

So there’s always hope when everything’s pointing the other way. I honestly thought my situation was hopeless, and maybe I was too young to understand. Now I realize my condition’s taken a quantum leap for the better, and I can’t imagine how better life can be after the next one. Those kids who are having suicidal thoughts, they’re in the dark. They think their situation is hopeless, but it just needs a single person to light one match in their consciousness.

The key really is just two things: communication and the support system. I have those and they’re the two main reasons I’m much better now. When you’re always alone, dwelling on your problems, then you’re not opening yourself up for others to help you. I can even argue that because I opened myself up, my family’s been closer and more understanding than ever. Going to mass, reading the Bible, praying from the heart are part of our lives now. And trust me, God is one of those you can open up to.

So that’s all I wanted to say. Let’s all do our share in erasing the stigma associated with the mentally ill. We offer the same potential as those who are in the mainstream, we just take a little more time and a little bit of tweaking to reach our peak. Don’t judge us so quickly, because you never know, the people you idolize might be hiding the same things you despise. Like all people, we’re just a little broken inside, but we can do great things in spite of our flaws, amazing and inspiring things.

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Poetry

Shimmer

  

It all comes back to me
Surprising me in that familiar way
Like that old Linkin Park song
The sounds of yesteryear
To this day, I remember every word
Shimmering in the dark
Lighting the way for me
A tool I used in my youth
I remember everything now
As if no time had passed
I’m back in that place
Word by word, piece by piece
I toil away at my desk
Waiting for my inevitable death
I felt it in my skin
But it never came
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